He ain't talkin 'bout me...

Lately I've been feeling like a sell out.

I used to work in theatre, producing, directing, and stage managing. Theatre is an addiction, and not just the performing aspects- it's not all about getting applause and acceptance from strangers. For me, the draw has always been the artistic process- the best times are had in rehearsal where all of the wonderful moments are discovered and the real magic is made. By the time the audience becomes part of the equation, I'm pretty much done. The magic has already happened.  It's been a few years since I was involved in a show and I'd been feeling that itch again. I put it out in the universe that I was in the mood to do a show. However, I wasn't very specific. The Universe gave me exactly what I asked for: A week later I got a phone call from a company I'd worked with in the past. Actually, it was the last company I had done a show with. They needed a stage manager, it was a two week commitment, would I be interested. Sure! What's the show?

Hansel and Gretel.

Yeah, that one... the one with the "Evil Gobbling Witch" who turns children into gingerbread and eats them...

Really fucking funny, Universe!

I get my show, just like I asked, but I need to sit through smack talk about Witches? And a show that condemns Witches as "evil" and baby eaters where she is ultimately killed? *headdesk*

We're in rehearsal and the music is great, the singers are amazing and I'm having a good time. But... We haven't yet staged the scenes with "The Witch." So here I am, completely tense about what this is going to be like. In the score there are pages and pages of music where "The Witch" waves her wand around and "bespells" Hansel and Gretel. Of course, before this, she's turned two dozen children into gingerbread cookies.  I've already had to sit through the scene with the Father telling the Mother about this horrifying cannibalistic Witch who lives in the woods and flies on a broom. Not that fun, but I've just concentrated on the music and the blocking. Funny tho, if there's someone in the woods cannibalizing children, and they've known this, why hasn't anyone done anything about it before? Funnier still, the Father seems to know an awful lot about what this cannibal does and how she "flies on her broom." And even funnier: the father is a broom maker! Before he shows up on stage, the father has allegedly been out selling brooms and buying food for the otherwise starving, desperate family. I think he's been off schtupping his mistress in the woods. The children are out in the woods and will discover his affair, so he tells his wife this tall tale to cover his own ass and eliminate his mistress.

Also, there's a scene where Hansel and Gretel are in the forest and Gretel is singing a song about a wild mushroom. I think the starving kids eat the mushroom and the rest of the show, including the gingerbread house and cannibal, are just a psychotropic trip. See how easy it is to spin things? lol This version is particularly vexing because in the "traditional/original" version, the father plans to abandon the kids in the woods, and leave them to die. So who is the real bad guy in this story?

But seriously, I've had this terrible debate with myself: Am I selling out? Is this the kind of thing contributing to discrimination? How can I, as the President of NYC Pagan Pride, do this show??? Are more women going to be killed in South Africa because I'm contributing to the production of a show which reinforces a dangerous stereotype and glorifies killing Witches as the enemy? Would it make a difference if I wasn't involved in this production? Nope. The show would still go on without me. At least this way, I can educate a few people as to how things really are, should it come up.

I remembered a scene from Six Feet Under where the artsy aunt tells the sister that she's not a good photographer and the sister freaks out about how insulting that is. The aunt points out that if the sister really was a good photographer, she wouldn't have been offended, she would have laughed it off as ridiculous. Then again, women aren't being killed because they're bad photographers...

Chris Rock talks about songs which are incredibly mysogynistic that women like anyway- they'll sing and dance to these songs, enjoying them instead of getting offended. And if you ask the woman how she could like the song, what does she say? "He ain't talkin bout me."

That's where I am right now. They're not talking about me. They're not talking about us. My point is, this show isn't going to make much of an impact on the progress Witches have made, and might actually start a new dialogue about what Witches really are and what we actually do. This version was written in the 1890's (again with me and things written in the 1890's!) almost 100 years before we really started coming into our own. Maybe I'm biased because of my age, but I really feel like it was 1990 before Witches were starting to become "mainstream."

I wonder if this issue comes up with Merchant of Venice and its inherent antisemitism?

Anyway, I'm doing the show, and I'm not going to feel bad about having fun with it. In fact, I'm thinking about decking myself out in full moon regalia, pentacles, cimaruta and all, on opening night and bringing a huge plate of gingerbread cookies with me! Ha!

Hubby suggested putting an ad in the playbill about the misconceptions surrounding Witches. That's not a bad idea. It might make a few people think and at the same time, support a theatre company that does wonderful work on a shoestring budget.

While I write that up, enjoy my Chris Rock inspiration! (NSFW!)

Manic Panic (adult content)

Everyone has panicked at one time or another; "Oh no! I think I left my homework in my room!" or "I forgot the files for that presentation!" But panic attacks are an entirely different thing. They can come on without warning and without an obvious reason. I've been to the hospital for what was determined to be a panic attack. Thankfully, I have been able to use EFT (emotional freedom technique) to relieve panic when it does happen and to preempt them entirely. I like EFT, it's one size fits all acupressure and it's a good focus. If nothing else, you're directing healing energy to yourself and being positive.

Is there an Italian remedy for panic? Italians don't have panic disorders. That's why it was such a big deal on The Sopranos lol kidding. Anyone can have a panic disorder, doesn't matter what your cultural background it. Herbs help: Chamomile, lavender, wine, garlic. But when faced with Panic, it's not a bad idea to have a relationship established with the God of fear itself, Pan. The word panic comes from his name. The word "pan" might mean "all" now, but at some point, the word meant something more like "rustic."

Who's your daddy?

Pan's father is none other than Hermes. The identity of Pan's mother changes with the folklore. A Dryad? a Naiad? Is this a metaphor? Hermes + woodland = rustic ram deity? Does Pan = Hermes? Is Pan the "pagan" version of Him? Pan is a deity of the fertility of the flocks and herds and of the woods. We've talked here before about Mercury, Hermes, et al as fertility deities (and it is said He is also a deity of herds and herders). Pan and Dionysus are pals, according to the mythology. In the same body of lore, Hermes carries Dionysus to hide him from Hera.

I find it fascinating that Pan is also associated with Priapus, who we have talked about before, specifically as the sexual side of Mercury. 

We like to go back and forth here on the blog between Italic, Roman, and Greek deities and lore, so let's add to the fun (or confusion, whichever you'd like to call it) and talk about the Italian and Roman syncretic versions of Pan: There is Inuus and Faunus and Silvanus. Faunus is most often associated directly with Pan. Inuus might very well be an epithet of Faunus:

...named from his habit of intercourse with animals, based on the etymology of ineundum, "a going in, penetration," from inire, "to enter" in the sexual sense...

 There's actually a pretty nifty article on wiki about how Inuus is the inspiration for Lupercalia!

Faunus is said to be one of the indigenous deities of Italy, as is his counterpart Fauna. She is also said to be Bona Dea. He is thought to have once been a mortal who was consulted as an oracle after he passed. For his continued service, he was apotheosized. Funny, Pan is thought to be a deity of Prophecy too.

I'm going to leave off here as it's getting late. There is more to come! I haven't even gotten to the part about actual panic! Pantastic!

Are you worth your salt? (some Adult content alert!)

This phrase comes from the Romans, who paid their soldiers, at least partially, in Salt. The word salary comes from the Latin world salarium, which translates to "payment in salt." The ancient world over, salt was a highly valued commodity, traded on par with gold. The Romans built roads specifically for making the transportation of salt more convenient. One such road, the Via Salaria, led from Rome to the Adriatic sea, where salt was produced by evaporating sea water.

I came across several interesting bits in the book The Etruscans outside Etruria by Paolo Bernardini and Giovannangelo Camporeale. There is speculation in this book that the Etruscans contributed salt to the trade economy for wine in particular.

Salt was another of Etruria's great resources. It was either mined, as in Volterra, or extracted from seawater in evaporation ponds that were set up along the Tyrrhenian coast. Between Ostia and Pisa the location name Saline is often found, a name testifying to an activity that had extremely ancient roots in the area. Indeed, wars between Rome and Veii that date back to the time of Romulus were fought over the possession of saltworks, which were quite productive near the mouth of the Tiber.

The role of salt in the greater economy must not be overlooked, though its traces are mostly hypothetical. Salt would explain the arrival of a substantial quantity of Euboean (Greek) pottery in Veii and Rome during the eighth century; sources date the wars between these two cities over the possession of the saltworks at the mouth of the Tiber to this same period.

Pythagoras was pretty keen on salt too: "Salt is born of the purest parents: the sun and the sea." He also said that "salt was the emblem of justice; for as it preserves all things and prevents corruption, so justice preserves whatever it animates, and without it all is corrupted."

Hippocrates lauded the use of sea water and salt baths for healing, as did texts from ancient China. Ghandi began the non violent revolution against Great Brittain with the Salt March. In short: The Brits controlled salt production and made it illegal for anyone else to produce it, even for themselves. You can read more about this on the holy wiki.

From The folklore of common salt: http://www.sacred-texts.com/etc/mhs/mhs32.htm
In Sicily, too, it is sometimes customary for the priest to place a little salt in the child's mouth at baptism, thereby imparting wisdom. Hence the popular local saying in regard to a person who is dull of understanding, that the priest put but little salt in his mouth. A similar usage is in vogue in the district of Campine in Belgium. The use of salt at baptism in the Christian Church dates from the fourth century. It was an early practice to place salt, which had been previously blessed, in the infant's mouth, to symbolize the counteraction of the sinfulness of its nature.

Here's a Roman folk tale called The Value of Salt

Enough with the history lesson! Let's get to business!

Salt protects. It was used in mummification and in meat production to preserve. So wouldn't it protect metaphysically too? One of the things we look to when we commune with The Horned God is protection. We wear a horn. We flash the mano fico. This highly valued, magical protection powder we are talking about now is white and salty. Have I drawn enough of a picture? No? It's divine spunk. There, I said it. The preserver and protector in mineral form. A man's ejaculate is a reflection of the divine male spark. Salt is the stuff of life. Marry it with the waters of our mother's womb and there we have the primordial ocean from which Love herself, and life sprang forth. Too much?* After my Priapus post you know we don't shy away from these topics here :)

Many magical traditions use salted water representing the union between male and female, the ultimate means of cleansing and preserving all in one. Salt in the corners of the room repels negativity. Salt before your door will negate anyone or thing trying to bring evil into your home.

Aside from constantly tending the fire, the other main job of the Vestal Virgins was to make the Mola Salsa, the salted cake. It was used to purify sacrifices and alternately burned as an offering. I find it interesting that this tradition was introduced by Pompilius, the second King of Rome, who happened to be Sabine. The cakes were less like KFC biscuits and more like, say wafers. Also interesting is the fact that many nunneries used to produce the communion wafers.

The salt and grain was, and is, used to purify a space. In modern times, when moving into a new home, bread and salt are brought in to ensure protection and prosperity.

Don't want someone to return to your home? Put dash of salt in their shoes. Can't get their shoes off surreptitiously? Throw the salt on their tracks as they leave.

Salt can be used to delineate sacred space aka cast a circle.

You can trace sigils in salted water to root protection wards on your body or property or windowsills. Keep some in a small pouch in your car, tied with a red ribbon.

We haven't even gotten into the uses of black salt yet! I'll direct you to  Lucky Mojo who has a whole page on the uses of salt. http://www.luckymojo.com/salt.html

And don't forget: *Take these blog posts with a grain of salt ;)

Parolacce! The bad words! (a post for the adults)

Today we passed by this lovely location. Hubby saw it first and laughed out loud as he went for the camera:

Heeheehee!

The way I heard it in my Italian neck o the woods was "fangool." The "proper" way to spell it (as if Italian should be written and not experienced! pft!) is: vafanculo/ It literally means "up your ass" tho it's generally used as an "F you."When saying it in front of the kids, it was changed to vafanapola: go to Naples! I have no idea why Naples was the choice of location. I suppose it just sounded good. Or maybe because my Grandmother's family was from just outside of Naples and she's the one I heard say it most often.

My two favorites are the ones I heard most, and both are from Sicily:

managgia (ma-NA-jah) Also heard as "managgia d'diavolo" Damn, or damn it to hell/the devil. It's hoping the person receives the mischief they just caused. You are literally damning the person or thing it's directed at.

minchia (MEEEN-kyah) Basically the Sicilian way of saying "oh shit!" tho it's more literally equivalent to "dick."

These two are my recent favorites:

cacasentenze: He shits sentences. You know someone like that: Pedantic, thinks everything they say is gold, never stops talking just because they like to hear their own voice, when what they really are is full of shit. cacasentenze!

non mi rompere le palle: Don't break my balls!

Surprisingly, about.com has an extensive list of words, categorized by letter! 

There is a whole other school of Italian profanity that goes into the blasphemous category: bestemmie. It involves cussing the various Catholic deities and saints. There's a link on the holy wiki about it, but scant references, including a "comic cult" that would cuss at deity. I don't know about said "comic cult" but it wasn't uncommon, even in pre christian days, to bind a statue. For example: The statue of Saturn was bound every day of the year except on Saturnalia!

The most common spell to sell a house involved burying Saint Joseph upside down in the ground until you get what you want, then you take him out and give him a place of honor in your new home. I think it's more a Sicilian practice than a mainland one, but threatening deity, ie: withholding offerings, or using a statue, talisman or other fetish to punish or bind them, is completely valid. The practice recognizes your own spark of divinity and how we, as divine beings, can approach deity other than as sniveling supplicants. Is it the best way to do things? Who knows.... it depends on who you are and what kind of relationship you have with deity. I prefer to work together. I don't like to be threatened or have my hand forced, so I wouldn't really do that to others unless it was extremely necessary.

That's all I have for tonight. Until tomorrow... fatti i cazzi tuoi! (mind your own dick!)

Hooray! Hooray!

The first of May! Outdoor F-ing starts today! \o/

This is an adult-oriented post. Keep the kiddies away from this one :)

In Italy, it's called piantarmaggio, the Planting of May. winkwink-nudgenudge! A giant pole made from a tree is planted into a hole in the wet, fertile ground. The entire celebration is "the great rite" but done on a grand scale. Two poplar trees are cut down one for the shaft and one for the tip. The trees are stripped of leaves and bark and branches and are then strapped together and brought to the town square/center of town where the hole was dug. On May eve, the pole is erected (heh) and slid into the hole (heh heh) where it stays for the whole month of May as a symbol of fertility.

Here is one of the many videos to be found on youtube of this wonderful festival. I've even come across news stories about the trip to pick the trees and have seen different regional variations where cows are driven through the town carrying the trees to plant. This one covers the whole event, including one town's "cover story" invented over 1,000 years go to make the tradition acceptable to the church so they could keep it going.




In honor of "Planting May" here is a list of euphemisms for sex: Bang, boom-boom, bonk, bump and grind, dip the wick, do the nasty, fornicate, get a home run, get it on, get laid, get your rocks off,  glaze the donut, hit it, hide the salami, jump your bones, knock boots, Lay pipe, make whoopee, mattress mambo. nookie, the nasty!, nailed, pork, poke, rocking the casbah, roll in the hay, score, screw, shag, sink the sub, thread the needle...

Hey! Wait! This is a blog about Italians, so where are those euphemisms? Where's the Italian slang? ok, quick lesson!

horny: arrapato, assatanto,
sex: chiavata, fottere, scopare, trombare (as in trombone haha)
quickie: cosina veloce, sveltina
penis: minchia (this one has always been a fave of mine lol), uccello
orgasm: sbrodare
masturbate: raspare, sega (told you video games are just playing with yourself...)