Holding out!

One of my favorite ancient plays, Lysistrata, is about how the women are tired of the unending Peloponnesian war and decide to withhold sex until their men come home. When I learned about this play way back when, it was explained that soldiers weren't always off campaigning far away; Many could go off and fight for the day, then come home for dinner and live normally, just another day at the office. True? Not so much? Anyway... Lysistrata gets her friends together, as well as women from Sparta, aka the enemy, and they all take to the idea and swear an oath to not have sex with the menfolk until the war is called off. There are some very funny scenes of old men and old women, wives teasing husbands, and a coalition of delegates conceding to demands thanks to a hot, practically nude woman named Reconciliation.

Here's the oath the women swore on a bowl of wine (aka: I'll drink to that!)

LYSISTRATA: Put down the cup, and lay your hands
upon the sacrifice. Oh mighty Goddess, Sweet
Persuasion, and you...Giant Cup, who has given us
such joy through the years, hear our plea, and accept
our sacrifice, for our great cause!
We will all swear at once. Put your hands
on the cup, everyone, and repeat after me.
(They all put their hands on the cup.)
I will not go near my husband or my lover.
ALL: I will not go near my husband or my lover.
LYSISTRATA: Speak up—No matter how big a hard-on he has.
ALL: No matter how big a hard-on he has.
CALONICE: Oh, Lysistrata, I can’t take it.
LYSISTRATA: I will be completely celibate,
ALL: I will be completely celibate,
LYSISTRATA: And wear nothing but seductive clothing,
ALL: And wear nothing but seductive clothing,
LYSISTRATA: And get my husband as horny as possible.
ALL: And get my husband as horny as possible.
LYSISTRATA: But I will never willingly give in to him,
ALL: But I will never willingly give in to him,
LYSISTRATA: No matter how he pressures me.
ALL: No matter how he pressures me.
LYSISTRATA: And if he tries to force me,
ALL: And if he tries to force me,
LYSTRATA: I will not do the thing where I put my legs up over his head.
ALL: I will not do the thing where I put my legs up over his head.
LYSISTRATA: Nor will I pretend to be a lioness he has caught in the forest.
ALL: Nor will I pretend to be a lioness he has caught in the forest.
LYSISTRATA: If I keep my oath, let my cup be filled with nothing but wine.
ALL: If I keep my oath, let my cup be filled with nothing but wine.
LYSISTRATA: And if I break it, let it be filled with nothing but water.
ALL: And if I break it, let it be filled with nothing but water.
LYSISTRATA: Do you all solemnly swear this oath?
ALL: We do.
LYSISTRATA: Good. Then I’ll drink this wine to finalize it. (She drinks.)
CALONICE: Leave a little for us, dear...

That's it for tonight!