Training

I never really talk about my "training" with people. It's just childish to say "haha I have a secret and I can't tell you and you don't know it neener, neener neener!" Those kind of people annoy the crap out of me. So do the ones who want me to talk about my "training" because they don't know what I know. I don't mean that they don't have the body of knowledge, I mean that they can't go look it up, I can't give them the name of an author, they don't know my lineage. I could give them names, but it wold mean nothing because they have never met these people and can't verify for themselves. I would completely understand if I were making a claim to teach something, sure you have a right to ask if I was taught this and how or if I pulled it out of my ass, or gleaned it from books or what. Tonight I was asked about my training by a good friend and teacher. We were talking about energetic defense and what could be done and how we do it. I joked that Italian babies are born wearing a horn. The first thing I "learned" was defense. It was important to know how to protect yourself because once you start shining that light, you will attract attention. It wasn't told to me that way, and really I wasn't told at all. It was just what we did. "This thing we do." I was also taught that you only talk about these things with the initiated, those who already know, unless they're your students, then you're actively teaching it. There were 3 of us tonight, and my teacher is an initiate of another tradition. I didn't feel comfortable talking about what I do. It was more than that good ol' Italian paranoia, it was that there was someone uninitiated in the room. Sure, she was being taught, but it wasn't by me. She hadn't been signed off on as far as my tradition goes. It just so happens that two of the things the teacher discussed are almost exactly how I work and what I do. I mentioned something more on the topic, a bit closer to one of the specific things I learned and use, but literally couldn't go further than that. I was told not to, that it would be crossing a line.

My teacher mentioned that if we don't share, how do we all grow. She has a point, but the knowledge I have is not to share with the world. It might be done by every other tradition out there, it might be Pagan Public Knowledge, but it's not going to cross my lips unless the person I'm talking to has been signed off on.

I've mentioned it here before, I think, but I'll post it again: My magickal "training" was done in a way that I didn't even realize it was something different. There was no Karate Kid type scene where I got angry because I was supposed to be learning but I was just waxing the floor. Wax on! Wax off! I wasn't sat down with my cousins to have magick class. I was 3 years old sitting in the backyard with my grandmother  eating snacks on a sunny day and she would tell me about the flowers in the garden, about the family stories, who made the bird bath sitting back there, why we had white and pink roses, what it mean when the cat did a certain thing or about the birds and spiders and so on and so on. The knowledge was imparted in such a natural, matter of fact way. It was just part of growing up. I knew other kids didn't learn these things and I knew not to tell anyone, the same way my son knows that we don't share certain information with those who aren't in the immediate family. There were occasions, when I was older, that I was taken aside and taught something, but that was because certain things can only be taught at certain times. Initiations can only be done in certain ways and on certain days.


I've typed another 3 paragraphs, but I deleted them. I just don't want to get further into it tonight. I prefer to do rather than to muse about it. We will be doing soon enough.  This blog is to help me frame my thoughts and see where I am right now and it has done that, so thanks :) I look forward to the doing!