Sunday, May 1, 2011

Hooray! Hooray!

The first of May! Outdoor F-ing starts today! \o/

This is an adult-oriented post. Keep the kiddies away from this one :)

In Italy, it's called piantarmaggio, the Planting of May. winkwink-nudgenudge! A giant pole made from a tree is planted into a hole in the wet, fertile ground. The entire celebration is "the great rite" but done on a grand scale. Two poplar trees are cut down one for the shaft and one for the tip. The trees are stripped of leaves and bark and branches and are then strapped together and brought to the town square/center of town where the hole was dug. On May eve, the pole is erected (heh) and slid into the hole (heh heh) where it stays for the whole month of May as a symbol of fertility.

Here is one of the many videos to be found on youtube of this wonderful festival. I've even come across news stories about the trip to pick the trees and have seen different regional variations where cows are driven through the town carrying the trees to plant. This one covers the whole event, including one town's "cover story" invented over 1,000 years go to make the tradition acceptable to the church so they could keep it going.

In honor of "Planting May" here is a list of euphemisms for sex: Bang, boom-boom, bonk, bump and grind, dip the wick, do the nasty, fornicate, get a home run, get it on, get laid, get your rocks off,  glaze the donut, hit it, hide the salami, jump your bones, knock boots, Lay pipe, make whoopee, mattress mambo. nookie, the nasty!, nailed, pork, poke, rocking the casbah, roll in the hay, score, screw, shag, sink the sub, thread the needle...

Hey! Wait! This is a blog about Italians, so where are those euphemisms? Where's the Italian slang? ok, quick lesson!

horny: arrapato, assatanto,
sex: chiavata, fottere, scopare, trombare (as in trombone haha)
quickie: cosina veloce, sveltina
penis: minchia (this one has always been a fave of mine lol), uccello
orgasm: sbrodare
masturbate: raspare, sega (told you video games are just playing with yourself...)