Monday, April 25, 2011

Get Bent!

Today it's about the funny. I'm pretty tired today, so I duno if I can bring the funny now, but I did last night. A friend and I were joking around. Some stodgy bloke, as my Brit pals would say, entered the conversation all serious-like and took one of my replies to heart when it wasn't aimed at him, or really at any specific person. We had been talking about giant purple lemuruan chicken ancestors and the admonishment to not eat their barely related modern chicken descendants. Soon after, I was charged with explaining the proper way to eat a chocolate bunny. To wit:

I learned the proper way of eating a chocolate bunny from a vision I had of Madame Blavatsky who knew that the Atlanteans were really ancient aliens. They didn't have to consume food, but they ritually partook of chocolate for the same reasons we do and in fact were actually the Mayans who teleported back to Altantis after seeding their story, and chocolate here. A fragment of one of their ancient tablets, found in Sumeria, speaks to the very subject: "Thou must consume the [bunny] from crown to lucky hoof lest ye be deemed perv and made a [son of] derision."

The folks intended as the recipients of the funny got it. Stodgy bloke told me to not make fun of other people's visions because I wouldn't like it if it was done to me. Srsly? I had to explain, despite Mercury being Direct (Hail Mercury!) that I was making fun of those who claim that every random-ass thought in their head is a "vision" of immense proportions when they couldn't quiet their minds long enough to hear anything besides their own internal money chatter. Nothing I wrote could be remotely taken as serious by anyone with a sense of humor. So that's my theme for tonight: lighten the fuck up! We are supposed to find joy in the Gods and delight in them. There is a time to be serious, sure, but if we take ourselves too seriously we become a mockery of what we want to be.

I ADORE the comic strip Oh My Gods and think he should still be cranking them out! Thankfully, he's published the strips in an anthology and still has the archive up on the website. Why do I adore it? He spears everyone in the Pagan community. Everyone. Equal opportunity, and the muggles too. 

For your further amusement:

How to recognize Humor!

Lightbulb Jokes!
How many Druids does it take to screw in a light bulb?
They don't screw in light bulbs, they screw in stone circles.

How many Witches does it take to change a light bulb?
Depends on what you want to change it into.

How many Gardnerians does it take to change a lightbulb?
Can't say.  It's oathbound.

How many Alexandrians does it take to change a lightbulb?
Same number as Gardnerians.

How many Strega does it take to change a lightbulb???
None -- if a candle was good enough for Gramma it's good enough for me!

How many Dianics does it take to change a lightbulb?
That's not funny!!!!

The Caffinated Cross!

The Charge of the Credit Card Goddess!

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